You can find him sitting on your doorstep, waiting for a surprise..

Sitting in my usual spot on the 9th floor at the VU, procrastinating from my thesis, when I realise the coffee machine I purposefully place myself in such close proximity to is in fact out of order. Upon noticing my sincere shock and heartache, the Dutch guy sitting next to me states that he is in fact heading downstairs for caffeinated supplies and he'll bring me back a coffee. So sitting at my laptop, hot coffee and a Balisto in hand, I got to thinking about Dutch guys, and my experiences so far with the tallest, cheese-eating, bike-riders in all the land.
As a young, single, (& sassy?) female living in Amsterdam. One of the first things people ask me about my time here is how are the Dutch boys? Is the talent better than back home? Have I got myself a Dutch boyfriend yet? So, as somewhat of an answer to these queries, here's a list from me to you of all the things I've noticed about Dutch boys so far:

NB. This list is subject to change, particularly when/if a Dutchie opens my eyes and sweeps me off my feet. Until then, cynicism overrules.

- Surprisingly, not all Dutchies are as tall as you'd like them to be
- Many Dutch males naturally have frustratingly luscious hair
- As a result of this, if I'm ever crashing at one of the guys places after work, unlike with English boys, there are no hair straighteners for me to borrow in the morning
- Dutchies don't tend to beat around the bush, they are very direct. Which makes playing dumb, flirty, chasing games a no go.
- Dutch guys, of all ages, love red jeans
- They also love trainers, the chunkier the better, although Vans and Converse are also a hit. In fact, every successful and high-up male museum exhibition curator I have met through my Masters so far, has loved pairing a subtle floral shirt, with a sharp blazer, jeans and high top Conny's.
- Backpacks are a third fashion essential
- Dutch guys don't really like to date, normally because that entails buying things for girls
- They also make you pancakes because it's normal, not because they're being cute
- The slicked back hair. 'Nough said.
- Oh, and one Dutch guy very kindly punched my female friend in the face the other night, what a sweetheart.

So, in a word, no. I have not got myself a Dutch boyfriend yet. Do I mind? No, the fact I can't borrow a dumb pair of hair straighteners is just a mere, insignificant downfall of the fabulous friendships these guys can offer. Dutch guys are loyal. They're hilarious. What's more, they get sarcasm. Dutch guys love to have fun. To get wasted. To dance. To leave you the keys to their place for the week while they're out of town. They're there for you when you need them. Whether you're in need of a temporary phone or a lift home on the handlebars of their bikes.
And sometimes, just sometimes, you can find the occasional Dutch guys willing to steal you a bike. To paint it a delightful, hipster colour for you. To bring you treats for every two hours of study you successfully complete during your study dates. To feed you through a hangover. And to stand by your side in a whole film roll of disposable camera photos, none of which any of you can remember. The Porthos and Aramis to your Athos, one might say. It's those who are the ones worth writing home about.
Plus, all the drunken, bow-tie clad Facebook photos together can even give my family the false hope they need that I won't be hopelessly single forever, win win.

And on that note, meet Ruby..

She may be bike number 5 over 9 months, but she's the fourth leg of this tripod.